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The safest way to not succeed is to try nothing

Posted on August 2, 2013

Avoidance is a leak behavior focused on the lower levels of the Maslow needs scale. This behavior, which is widespread in large companies, whether public or private, has the effect of limiting the autonomy of employees, increasing their isolation and penalizing innovation at all levels.

On the management side, avoidance behavior contributes to increasing the inertia of companies by considerably lengthening the decision-making time.

Avoidance is the worst enemy of personal development. It will always pay to try to bring this behavior to an acceptable level to promote the progress of men and organizations.

The future is not avoided (Oscar Wilde)

Procrastinating, doing “as-if”, lying, evading, shirking, etc. Represent various instances of avoidance behavior. Avoidance is escape. It is a strategy of non-confrontation. As such, avoidance behavior is necessarily the product of a decision by its author. It is a decision that aims to keep it from any contact, any opportunity to exchange with others. In the absence of better alternatives, avoidance makes it possible to delay the moment of commitment to action … When it is a little too systematic, this reflex is often very expensive for men and organizations that have not taken Their co-workers in constructive communication.

 

 

This escape strategy is most often used in an emergency, when a subject is called to assert his integrity and does not consider it appropriate to do so in the moment.

Indeed, the attitude of asserting its integrity creates risks of confrontations which are sometimes of consequences.

In order to choose the right strategy, in a situation of difficult communication, the equation to be managed is as follows: “Is the stake – or the defense of my integrity – important enough for me to expose myself to the consequences of ‘a confrontation ? “. The answer is a matter of dosage, pragmatism and above all knowledge and self-esteem.

Some examples

 Situation Possible consequences of a confrontation Adapted strategy
My superior disrespects me Loss of status, advancement, employment Constructive communication

 

I totally disagree with my colleague’s decision Loss of confidence, deterioration of the working climate, jeopardizing a common project Constructive communication
I made a mistake. They reproach me for my decision. Lose face, Image of incompetence Constructive communication

 

I dodge the phone call from an unwelcome partner Partner not content  

Avoidance

My boss asks me to make a false statement; Which goes totally against my values. Loss of status, advancement, employment Assertiveness
Someone threatens me with a weapon Loss of life  

Avoidance

 

To assert its integrity is to realize oneself, to prove one’s existence, to hold one’s place, to be responsible, to strengthen confidence, to solve the problems before they become too important … But this strategy is not always adapted, A confrontation could make us run the risk of a loss of integrity. Recognize that this latter situation is rather rare.

Personal development

How to reduce the frequency of your avoidance behaviors?

  • Exchange with a friend or coach to identify what really threatens you in the event of a confrontation.
  • Take time to identify what you are feeling and to differentiate between observation and interpretation.
  • Look for effectiveness in your interpersonal relationships and constructive communications (how will this be useful?)
  • Anticipate, take the first steps towards others, start the conversation. Do not wait for the situation to get worse.
  • Trust your ability to adjust creatively to possible difficult situations
  • Express your feelings, opinions and ideas (SOI) Speak of your first-person experience of the singular (start your sentences with “I”).
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