Have you ever wondered why reproaches almost always reach their goals? It is because those who formulate them leave no doubt about their sincerity: blame, condemn, guilt.
If you are a humanist manager and you want to learn how to positively influence people and organizations, this article, we hope, will help you. If, on the other hand, you are part of these rough managers who imagine that the human relationship works like a jukebox (I put a piece and you send your song!) Then WARNING: what follows may harm you .
So if the impact of feedback depends on the sincerity of the issuer, then this principle must be applied to the exercise of valuation. But first of all let’s revisit the philosophy that encourages managers to practice valorization. This philosophy is inspired by Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
Abraham Maslow showed that the satisfaction of the need for esteem, in other words the need to be recognized by others, was a powerful fuel of motivation. Each time you receive a testimonial of gratitude, it stimulates your motivation to replicate the behaviors that earned you this “reward”. It is by vulgarizing this principle to excess that some managers have started to believe that it would be enough for them to debase flatteries to obtain in return good behavior from collaborators assured of bliss. But a person does not work like a Jukebox. For a human being to feel stimulated by a valorization one must respect at least two conditions:
If at least one of the answers is NO and a scattered manager persists in spite of that, to practice a valorization, then he does nothing but vaporize his intention . It is as if he was giving compliments on his speed, to a cyclist who desperately seeks to escape the pursuit of a hungry bear. If this cyclist escapes, the obstinate vaporizer risks to take dear, as they say … because in reality, its intention is neither appropriate nor admissible. It is above all counterproductive because it reveals a mobile manipulator of very bad taste.
No wonder people often complain that they receive fewer valuations than they do. A number of them are never captured by targets and the others often generate incomprehension, or worse, cynicism.
So how to avoid the blunder?
Congruence, empathy and humility. It is the congruence and confidence of your intention that matter. The result is not predictable.
Congruence : Before valuing, it will be necessary to ensure that your interlocutor can be sensitive to the satisfaction of a need of esteem.
Empathy : During the valorization, it will be necessary to make sure that the path of the confidence with your recipient is actually practicable.
Humility : After the valorization, accept this fact: you are not master of the result. The latter depends on many parameters that are beyond your control (quality of your relationship with the target, work environment, profile and personal context of your interlocutor, interpretation of your intervention, etc.).
Your motivation should be limited to providing just, good and beautiful feedback. Humility is your best insurance against any temptation to manipulate.
With these three principles, you animate the virtuous circle of motivation by the stimulation of three sources of fundamental satisfactions:
Experience Consulting & Training www.experience-conseil.fr
Human Synergistics France www.humansynergistics.com
Author of Elite Manager – Gestalt Leadership Guide in 21st Century Organizations
Organizational development through the emotional intelligence of men
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